Feelings Revealed
by Aster
Summary: After Daphne left Niles on the balcony, what did he do until the morning?


A great war is waging, and there is only one single person that can put a stop to all the violence. That person has been the love of my life for about seven years, although I suspect she hasn't known until recently. Daphne. When I hear her name spoken, it is like angels singing some great prayer. The war exists within myself, and it has for a long time now. When I first met her, like Fraiser, I thought that it was simply a 'fling' as some may call it. But over time, I became intrigued by the type of person she was, and what her interests and hobbies were. Frasier and dad did not understand how much my feelings for her had evolved, and that night that I bared my soul to her was the night they learned different. 

Yes, I knew from the start that dancing with her at the reception, so close to Daphne's wonderful fragrances was a mistake. However, I knew that this would probably be our last time to dance, and I took it. I still remained a gentleman, though, despite what I wanted to say, and how much I wanted to kiss her. I closed my eyes for fear that the wonderful moment would end all too soon...and I was correct once again. The slow song ended, and I handed my darling over to Donny with a contented guise pasted so haphazardly on my fair face. When I had to take on the role of Mel's lover, I could not help but to glance over at the woman I had been in love with for so many years. I remember that I was glad that the party only lasted about three hours, but that would mean that the morning and the wedding would soon present itself. As I watched her dance with Donny, I felt as if I would cry right then and there, so I knew I had to tear my eyes away from Daphne. Perhaps the most disturbing part of seeing her with him was that she seemed happy...no, no, ecstatic. Her beautiful brown eyes sparkled and her smile shown, seemingly unaware what she was doing to me. I noticed no one but her as I watched...not even Frasier, whom sat a mere three feet from where I stood; nor Mel who I was swaying with. I felt I was a marionette with its strings being pulled every which way when the piece ended abruptly. I wanted so to keep dancing and watching, but the most difficult part of the night was to come. 

Frasier then walked quickly over to me before the next waltz began, and pulled me aside. 

"Niles, I must speak with you. It is at the upmost urgency."

I saw this as a way to distance myself from Mel, and Daphne, so I nodded and walked with him to one of the rooms in the gorgeous, yet rustic hotel. Everything from then on is, for the most part, a blur for me. Everything seemed to just speed by me, and I felt as if I had to sprint to keep up.

"Niles! Daphne feels the same way about you."

Those mere words made me spin around-well, as fast as I could anyway-to face my older brother. I supposed my face told him to enlighten me, for he knew that I could not speak after a sentence such as that.

"At least I think she does. She told me as much yesterday, but then denied it once you got married."

"Ohmigosh," was all I could manage at that moment in time. After Mel was in my room, I knew that I was safe to express my feelings openly, because she'd be there for quite some time. Hyperventillating wasn't what I had in mind, but I couldn't help it. I was determined to seek Daphne out and attempt to offer the world to her.

When I opened the door, I didn't expect Daphne and Donny to be standing right there, so all I could do was to fumble for words, and thankfully I finally mastered the art of speaking. She seemed a little puzzled at first as to why I asked her there in the first place, but I think that after I asked her if she'd like something to drink, she knew. 

"I was uh...just talking to Frasier about a conversation you two had..."

"Oh, dear..." I don't usually like to be the one to make people angry, but she just had to know who told me about her feelings for me.

"Oh, don't get upset..."

"I specifically asked him not to say anything! What was he thinking?!" 

"No, I'm glad he told me."

"Why? So we can have a big talk about it?! That's what you psychiatrists always do, drag everything out into the open so we can work through it, no matter how awkward it might be! Well, I just don't see the point...!" At that point in time, I knew that I mustn't let her get too worked up, otherwise she have left the room, without me being able to confess my feelings...ever. I quickly thought what I'd say to her, and said to myself _'What have I got to lose_'? 

"Daphne, I'm glad he told me, because...I love you." Her expression was a little difficult to read, because it was filled mostly with surprise, and left no room for anything else. I wasn't sure whether to continue, for I did not want to risk a great relationship. 

"Dr. Crane, you shouldn't say such things..."

"It's the truth. Lord knows I have tried to deny it, tried to convince myself that I am over you. But not a day goes by when I don't think of you...your smile, your beautiful eyes, what it would be like to hold your hand and ask you the question I never dare ask..."

After all the interruptions, I thought that I might go insane, literally, because I could not tell her what I had wanted to for so long. When her brothers and mother entered the room, I saw true anger in her eyes, not like when I had spoken to her earlier. With my last thread of sanity, I left for the balcony, only holding on to a small amount of hope that she would follow me. She had something to tell me, and if she really wanted me to know, she'd proceed. Suffice to say, I was generally surprised that she came with me, though at first, I thought it was just to get away from the crowd to think. I could not contain myself, waiting for the answer to the question so close to my heart, so I did what any rational man would do in love...ramble. Even now, I'm not exactly sure what I spoke of, though I think I might have detected a scent in the air and commented that I didn't know whether it was night blooming jasmine or orange blossom. Her action was what I remember most of all...

"Oh, for heaven's sakes Dr. Crane." 

She wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders and neck, and quickly pressed her warm lips to mine. It was then that I realized that I had never kissed her before, even as friends. I did not want to break away, because I was afraid that it might have all been a dream and that I'd wake up at any given second. The need for oxygen overtook both of us, and we parted, but her arms stayed tightly around me, and our faces just inches, perhaps centimeters away. Honestly, I was completely taken aback by her expression, and I squeaked, "I think you can call me Niles now." As stupid as I think it is now, it seemd like the right thing to say. I wanted another kiss, and I saw that within her eyes, she did too. I initiated it this time, and I said silently to myself, '_Can you believe it?'_ To my disbelief, it ended quickly, when she pulled away, and left my hands to touch nothing but air. She must have seen my look of perplexity, for she explained without another breath.

"I do love you, but I can't do this..."

Even though I was standing upright, the blood was rushing to my head, and I began to get lightheaded, and feared a literal blackout. Involuntarily, I shook my head over and over; not wanting to believe that after all I said, and after all Daphne proclaimed to me, that she could dismiss me out of hand.

"I-I know it'll be difficult, but, but I can get a divorce, and you can call off the wedding..."

"I can't...Donny is a dear and wonderful man..." The feeling of nausea overcame me and I distanced myself from what she was saying about Donny being a wonderful person, and me making promises to Mel. I came to again when she concluded with... "For heaven's sakes, we've never even been on a date."

I knew that in order to show her how much she meant to me, I had to say something meaningful, yet concise. "Daphne, take it from someone who knows. You don't want to spend your life thinking about a chance you didn't take."

"I'm sorry, but my mind is made up. I think we should say goodnight now."

Her tone initiated the plunge of my heart and soul to the bottom of my being. With all my strength and willpower, I did it first. "Goodnight Daphne." She said her goodnight and quickly departed to leave me outside alone on the balcony. I half expected my heart to insist that I jump , but my rational side won and prevented me from doing so. _'It isn't high enough anyway,' _I told myself over and over as I noticed how strangely chilly the air actually was_. _I can't remember how long I actually stood out there, looking at everything, yet at nothing at all. My dreams and feelings of seven years came crashing down on me like an avalanche; each event being a single tree branch packed with snow, later contributing to the bigger picture. I didn't leave the balcony until I was sure that everyone in the room had left for their own. I retreted not to my own room, but to the lobby to request an extra room. I was sure that I could not face Mel right now. After telling Daphne of my feelings, I thought of my relationship with and marriage with my wife, and decided that I should just wait it out. After all, from my experiences with making wives and husbands deal with their spouses has taught me somethings about my own. My request for a room was denied, so I took the service elevator to the laundry room to be alone and to think how I would play the wedding tomorrow.Since it was late, I heard no semblance of slamming dryer drawers or the shuffle or cloths being folded. I sat up against the farest wall, brought my knees up to my chest and encircled then with my long arms. I no longer cared that my suit was a little damp from the washers overflowing earlier in the day, or the fact that little bugs were crawling along the ground. I mused about the things I did during the day, and couldn't contain my pent up emotions any longer. Noticing that no one would see or hear me, I began to cry. Not only because Daphne did not love me, but because she was marrying someone that I introduced her to. I felt as if I had rushed her into the arms of another man, and not just any man, my former lawyer. I know that Donny could never love her as much as I would or give her everything she wanted. Personally, I knew she wastoo good for Donny, and perhaps even for me. Hot tears came more freely, driping down my face, and flowing onto my Armani suit. It was an incredible feeling to allow myself this freedom. I lost what was most precious, and had no rational way of getting it back. I stayed most of the night in that stuffy crowded little laundry room, and finally awoke at about four in the morning. I noticed the time and quickly walked in the elevator to reclaim my shared hotel room. When I got off at the ground floor, I saw Frasier sitting in the lobby casually reading the day's newspaper. Since there was no activity at that time of night, I thought it odd that my older brother would venture down here. He glanced up and me, and tossed me a questioning look. All I wanted was to sleep in a nice, comfortable bed, for my back was devoid of a meeting with the chiropractor that week. "Niles," Frasier said calmly. I kindly walked over and sat at the chair across from him. "What the hell have you been up to?"

I did not want to answer for fear of that look of inferiority that he often gave me, but I couldn't lose anything more than I already had. "In the laundry room. I was just thinking about my irrational decision. I should never have-"

Frasier held up his hand to silence me, "Niles, you know that's not true. At least you got it out in the open, and know the truth, right?. Didn't you see that she's happy with Donny-"

"Frasier, I know, alright?" I stood up abruptly to leave. "I just...I knew I could have given her more...the world even. Didn't you ever feel that you were in love with someone so deeply that you'd risk anything to 'win them over?' Or- or to make them happy? I guess that Daphne would have understood and seen the extent of my passion for her. I can see, months from now, Donny having to leave on trips or meetings or functions, and her all alone with their dog. And her coming over anyway to talk to you about her marriage problems with Donny, and causing her emotional distress." I knew I was blowing this all out of proportion, but I had to talk to someone. When I finally stopped acting as if my shoes were the most fasinating thing in the world, I look up at Frasier. He was looking at me with the strangest of emotions.

"Oh, Niles. What about Mel? Don't you love her?" he layed out simply.

"Of course I do Fraiser, I just...I'm not sure...not anymore. Who would have thought that I could have fallen in love with someone purely because of her physical bearing, then become her best friend, only to then love her because of who she is? Do you know anyone who has loved someone so completely that they anticipate the obsessees' next words that find themselves out of her beautiful mind?"

Frasier gaped, "What exactly did you tell _her_?"

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
